Fat and Lazy in the Head
Oh stairs, how you cruelly mock me today!
After much sitting around and thinking after the hike yesterday...I realize this latest bout of people weariness wasn't caused by other people at all, but by me. This is why I love hiking to extreme physical exhaustion, when I'm completely physically beat, I don't have the energy to be pissy or nitpick at other people, I'm left with me. I realized I've grown mentally fat and lazy. I realize I've been long overdue to check out of my mom's house. When I first moved in a few years back, it was supposed to be temporary, but I've noticed I haven't made any real plans to move out. I've since then enjoyed sitting in a soft cushy pillow so much that I haven't tried moving from it...I'm honestly NOT okay with this. I'm sooo not okay that I'm getting irritated with myself and blaming other people, because I'm so obviously perfect and everyone else is flawed to the teeth. Well, if I'm so damned perfect why don't I grow some backbone, and get my shit together? Fall off a cliff and die already! Hey!!!
I realize I’ve stopped thinking really hard about where I want to go…oh, I’ll throw it the occasional thought here and there, but that only last till it’s time to go out for that drink. I think I need to move my lazy fat spoiled ass out of my mom’s house to do some serious thinking. Why can’t I do my thinking where I’m at? Well, it’s not like I plan to go brain dead while I’m working on my moving the hell out thing. (Dear god, I don’t want to deal with my mom crying over my moving out. Which she will. She’s given me every bit of freedom and space I needed to keep me there. I’m going to feel so terrible.) Thinking when I'm left completely to my own device is different. When my lazy spoiled ass have to suddenly deal with managing money and stuff like that, I THINK! I get creative too. Think about how you were in a happy comfy relationship…not much attempts to change yourself. Think about how much you suddenly decided you have room for improvement when you got dumped. If you’ve never been dumped, congratulations but I’m so sorry, you’ve been robbed of a great opportunity of a free shove for mental growth.
Being forced out of my comfort zone has a way of making me think thoughts that never really occured to me before.
After much sitting around and thinking after the hike yesterday...I realize this latest bout of people weariness wasn't caused by other people at all, but by me. This is why I love hiking to extreme physical exhaustion, when I'm completely physically beat, I don't have the energy to be pissy or nitpick at other people, I'm left with me. I realized I've grown mentally fat and lazy. I realize I've been long overdue to check out of my mom's house. When I first moved in a few years back, it was supposed to be temporary, but I've noticed I haven't made any real plans to move out. I've since then enjoyed sitting in a soft cushy pillow so much that I haven't tried moving from it...I'm honestly NOT okay with this. I'm sooo not okay that I'm getting irritated with myself and blaming other people, because I'm so obviously perfect and everyone else is flawed to the teeth. Well, if I'm so damned perfect why don't I grow some backbone, and get my shit together? Fall off a cliff and die already! Hey!!!
I realize I’ve stopped thinking really hard about where I want to go…oh, I’ll throw it the occasional thought here and there, but that only last till it’s time to go out for that drink. I think I need to move my lazy fat spoiled ass out of my mom’s house to do some serious thinking. Why can’t I do my thinking where I’m at? Well, it’s not like I plan to go brain dead while I’m working on my moving the hell out thing. (Dear god, I don’t want to deal with my mom crying over my moving out. Which she will. She’s given me every bit of freedom and space I needed to keep me there. I’m going to feel so terrible.) Thinking when I'm left completely to my own device is different. When my lazy spoiled ass have to suddenly deal with managing money and stuff like that, I THINK! I get creative too. Think about how you were in a happy comfy relationship…not much attempts to change yourself. Think about how much you suddenly decided you have room for improvement when you got dumped. If you’ve never been dumped, congratulations but I’m so sorry, you’ve been robbed of a great opportunity of a free shove for mental growth.
Being forced out of my comfort zone has a way of making me think thoughts that never really occured to me before.
posted by SteakGirl at 11:49 AM
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