Bear Food
My friends are planning a backpacking trip this weekend, soooo…if work permits I might get the privilege of lugging around 30lbs of schtuff into the woods and hiking until my feet bleeds. Yay!
I had mentioned that in my last trip that between the three of us, we had almost three of everything. Dave brought a tent for 3, Daniel for 2, and me for 2 -- we had enough shelter to construct our own Ewok village. Me being me, am always paranoid about starvation, so I brought enough food for 2 people and then some…not joking about that, Dave didn’t pick up food before hand so I told him I would share mine, we both ate well and I still had to pack food home.
Being that it was my first backpacking trip, I was very apprehensive about my ability to lug around that much weight for any distance so my friends had told me I didn’t need to bring some of the duplicate stuff. No way! Of course we needed three water pumps, three camp stoves and three of everything! Personally, I wanted to make sure I can carry everything I would ever need and to make sure I actually bought everything I needed if I were to go on a solo trip. Not to mention there’s the obligatory testosterone gear competition…and I wouldn’t want to miss out on that. Who’s got the brightest headlamp? I do! You ought to replace your sad dim headlamp with a miner’s helmet and candles. Who’s got the brightest pink mattress? It’s Chrysanthemum, you bastards, and it’s um...very manly and cushy...I grew chest hair just from sleeping on it.
I found out during the trip I forgot to get ONE very important item. Before I ever went on the backpacking trip I had been hemming and hawing over the possibility of a bear attack. Well, I forgot to buy a bear bag. Yeah, both guys brought theirs… What did I plan to do to keep the bears from going after my food? Well, I was thinking of slathering myself with molasses and maybe tying a small piece of steak to my neck to distract the bears from my food, of course. Uh-huh, because I am a god damned idiot… *sob* I’m so going to get eaten.
Note to self: Go buy a bear bag, bear mace, some bug juice…and stop being such a dumbass.
I had mentioned that in my last trip that between the three of us, we had almost three of everything. Dave brought a tent for 3, Daniel for 2, and me for 2 -- we had enough shelter to construct our own Ewok village. Me being me, am always paranoid about starvation, so I brought enough food for 2 people and then some…not joking about that, Dave didn’t pick up food before hand so I told him I would share mine, we both ate well and I still had to pack food home.
Being that it was my first backpacking trip, I was very apprehensive about my ability to lug around that much weight for any distance so my friends had told me I didn’t need to bring some of the duplicate stuff. No way! Of course we needed three water pumps, three camp stoves and three of everything! Personally, I wanted to make sure I can carry everything I would ever need and to make sure I actually bought everything I needed if I were to go on a solo trip. Not to mention there’s the obligatory testosterone gear competition…and I wouldn’t want to miss out on that. Who’s got the brightest headlamp? I do! You ought to replace your sad dim headlamp with a miner’s helmet and candles. Who’s got the brightest pink mattress? It’s Chrysanthemum, you bastards, and it’s um...very manly and cushy...I grew chest hair just from sleeping on it.
I found out during the trip I forgot to get ONE very important item. Before I ever went on the backpacking trip I had been hemming and hawing over the possibility of a bear attack. Well, I forgot to buy a bear bag. Yeah, both guys brought theirs… What did I plan to do to keep the bears from going after my food? Well, I was thinking of slathering myself with molasses and maybe tying a small piece of steak to my neck to distract the bears from my food, of course. Uh-huh, because I am a god damned idiot… *sob* I’m so going to get eaten.
Note to self: Go buy a bear bag, bear mace, some bug juice…and stop being such a dumbass.
posted by SteakGirl at 10:11 PM
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