Conditioned Response

Ahhh…yet another long lull in my blogsphere. I finally got around to reading this book that I picked up nearly a year ago - of course it would be appropriately named “The Now Habit”. So far, I really enjoy it.

I think I can relate to it a lot in the sense that lately, I’ve been feeling like I’ve got too much to do, but I can’t seem to bring myself to do anything. Yes, vicious cycle to the teeth. I’m supposed to start shopping for a space for my restaurant/lounge/whorehouse that I’m planning to open, but I’ve been dragging ass on it, claiming to be busy or not know where to start…when I’m just plain scared. I’m not sure what yet…one would think the obvious answer is “failure” but I’m not sure that’s it. Procrastination is sometimes an unconscious attempt at dealing with fear. Hmmm, me being scared, this should be interesting.

Today is my boss’ 50th birthday. To congratulate him, a bunch of my coworkers stuffed his office full of balloons – some seven hundred plus of them. He took one look at it and went away for meetings all day. I have the cube right in front of his office and I get the pleasure of hearing random balloons pop ALL DAY. Half-way through the day, I felt like I was part of some kind of Little Albert psychology experiment…where if I would even hear someone bounce a balloon I would cringe. At the end of the day, my boss came back and they had a balloon popping party. The next clown that hands me a balloon is going to get decked, then tied down while I administer nails on chalkboard.