The Meat Market
I went out with my sister last night because I figured it would be unhealthy to sit at home alone and read all the time. About five minutes out with her group, I realize it’s unhealthy for me to subject myself to such crappy meat market atmosphere. This guy, Dave, a friend of her friend was trying desperately to pick up every chick within shouting distance while we were having dinner.
I knew I didn’t like Dave the moment I sat down and my sister gave me an apologetic look. I later found out my sister was so insistent on getting me out because she wanted me to save her from this group. She didn’t want to get stuck talking to Dave who wanted to brag about everything about himself, from all the dates he’s been on recently, to his job and his Ferrari. At some point, the guy launches into a thousand questions about me…not the kind where you know he wants to know anything about me really, but the kind you do when your date trainer taught you to ask about the girl. I try to be non-specific about my interest…but then my sister’s friend volunteered that I love hiking and doing outdoorsy stuff…Dave starts talking about his good friend who loves to climb and snowshoe and do everything outdoorsy. The guy was shopping for his friend too. He starts giving me a hardcore selling schpeal on his buddy and telling me I should give him a call. I told him to just invite his buddy out. He said his buddy is out of town but starts fishing in his wallet for his buddy’s card and told me I should check him out on his website, I told him to keep his card because I’m not in need of his friend’s company.
The guy thinks he’s being sauve but he manages to get on my nerve with every word. He next shows us pictures of his cats on his phone and tells us how he doesn’t have kids but he has cats. I think he expected us to fawn over his cats’ pictures. I don’t even like cats. Then my sister says, “We’re supposed to help Dave pick-up a hot tall Caucasian lady.” Dave adds, “Yes, brunettes preferred, but I’ll settle for a tall blonde too.” I’m looking at the guy…he’s 5’8”, Asian, not attractive and in his mid-to-late-forties claims to be 35…I’m not even going to pretend like I can help this guy out. I figured I could focus on the food which was amazing. My sister asked if I wanted to go see a movie or go play pool with her after dinner, I told her pool sounds like fun.
Soon as Dave finishes his dinner he shouts for one of the guy to get up and be his wingman. SHOUTS! Who the fuck does that? Then they go off and hit on the table with 4 ladies next to us. I’m ashamed to be sitting in the same table as this guy, but I’ve still got my dinner. A while later, the wingman comes back and said he couldn’t do it anymore, “Too much bullshitting going on.” Dave is still over at the other table, but on the other side, another guy was working the same angle. At some point, Dave shouts desperately from that table, “WHERE DID MY WINGMAN GO?” Smooth. A short while later, he stalks from the table, hopping mad muttering, “I’ve never been shot down that badly.” Shocking! The ladies’ table was right behind me and I can hear them still talking crap about the guy.
My sister and I wanted to leave to go shoot some pool, but then the entire group wanted to come with us. The night could not be saved. I stayed for another drink at the pool hall, but left before I could even finish the drink. I just wanted to go home, sit around alone and read.
The one funny thing was this story my sister told me at the pool hall:
Sister: I had this friend who had been hounding me to set me up with this old guy.
Me: Oh, yeah…I remember her. The 45 years old guy?
Sister: Yeah, that’s the one. So the girl kept text messaging me over and over. And one night I was out with Melissa and they were out somewhere else, and she text’d me again. I figured it couldn’t hurt to stop by.
Me: Dear god, I told the girl to not bother.
Sister: Oh no, it’s not even the guy. Soon as we get there, Melissa looks at the guy and said, “Oh you must be the Old Guy.” And then she starts doing what I do when I mess up.
Me: Hahahah! Go, Melissa!
Sister: Yeah, she realized what she said and instead of letting it go, she spends the entire night apologizing for it.
Me: Which obviously only make things worse.
Sister: Exactly.
Me: Wow, how’d you find a friend that pulls your special move?
Sister: I don’t know, but I now see why you give me so much shit for not shutting up.
I'm going buy Melissa a drink next time I see her. The singles market is just too strange and funny.
I knew I didn’t like Dave the moment I sat down and my sister gave me an apologetic look. I later found out my sister was so insistent on getting me out because she wanted me to save her from this group. She didn’t want to get stuck talking to Dave who wanted to brag about everything about himself, from all the dates he’s been on recently, to his job and his Ferrari. At some point, the guy launches into a thousand questions about me…not the kind where you know he wants to know anything about me really, but the kind you do when your date trainer taught you to ask about the girl. I try to be non-specific about my interest…but then my sister’s friend volunteered that I love hiking and doing outdoorsy stuff…Dave starts talking about his good friend who loves to climb and snowshoe and do everything outdoorsy. The guy was shopping for his friend too. He starts giving me a hardcore selling schpeal on his buddy and telling me I should give him a call. I told him to just invite his buddy out. He said his buddy is out of town but starts fishing in his wallet for his buddy’s card and told me I should check him out on his website, I told him to keep his card because I’m not in need of his friend’s company.
The guy thinks he’s being sauve but he manages to get on my nerve with every word. He next shows us pictures of his cats on his phone and tells us how he doesn’t have kids but he has cats. I think he expected us to fawn over his cats’ pictures. I don’t even like cats. Then my sister says, “We’re supposed to help Dave pick-up a hot tall Caucasian lady.” Dave adds, “Yes, brunettes preferred, but I’ll settle for a tall blonde too.” I’m looking at the guy…he’s 5’8”, Asian, not attractive and in his mid-to-late-forties claims to be 35…I’m not even going to pretend like I can help this guy out. I figured I could focus on the food which was amazing. My sister asked if I wanted to go see a movie or go play pool with her after dinner, I told her pool sounds like fun.
Soon as Dave finishes his dinner he shouts for one of the guy to get up and be his wingman. SHOUTS! Who the fuck does that? Then they go off and hit on the table with 4 ladies next to us. I’m ashamed to be sitting in the same table as this guy, but I’ve still got my dinner. A while later, the wingman comes back and said he couldn’t do it anymore, “Too much bullshitting going on.” Dave is still over at the other table, but on the other side, another guy was working the same angle. At some point, Dave shouts desperately from that table, “WHERE DID MY WINGMAN GO?” Smooth. A short while later, he stalks from the table, hopping mad muttering, “I’ve never been shot down that badly.” Shocking! The ladies’ table was right behind me and I can hear them still talking crap about the guy.
My sister and I wanted to leave to go shoot some pool, but then the entire group wanted to come with us. The night could not be saved. I stayed for another drink at the pool hall, but left before I could even finish the drink. I just wanted to go home, sit around alone and read.
The one funny thing was this story my sister told me at the pool hall:
Sister: I had this friend who had been hounding me to set me up with this old guy.
Me: Oh, yeah…I remember her. The 45 years old guy?
Sister: Yeah, that’s the one. So the girl kept text messaging me over and over. And one night I was out with Melissa and they were out somewhere else, and she text’d me again. I figured it couldn’t hurt to stop by.
Me: Dear god, I told the girl to not bother.
Sister: Oh no, it’s not even the guy. Soon as we get there, Melissa looks at the guy and said, “Oh you must be the Old Guy.” And then she starts doing what I do when I mess up.
Me: Hahahah! Go, Melissa!
Sister: Yeah, she realized what she said and instead of letting it go, she spends the entire night apologizing for it.
Me: Which obviously only make things worse.
Sister: Exactly.
Me: Wow, how’d you find a friend that pulls your special move?
Sister: I don’t know, but I now see why you give me so much shit for not shutting up.
I'm going buy Melissa a drink next time I see her. The singles market is just too strange and funny.
posted by SteakGirl at 9:05 AM
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