Female Problems

I feel like I've been poo for a sister. I felt so strongly about that, I took a personal day off work to spend with my family so that I can properly listen to them. After an entire day spent, I've decided I want to hang myself than listen to another woman whine on and on about her problem.
I suddenly remembered why I started telling my sister what to think. I suddenly remember why I got rid of all my female friends. You know why? Because a woman can spend an entire day/night telling you all the problems they have with their boyfriend/galfriend/whatever and then right when you say, "So you'll get rid of him/her/it right?" They'll suddenly think of ONE crappy random shit ass excuse as to why this person should stay...sometimes there's not even one actual excuse so much as she thinks there is not a "real" problem.
I realize with my gal friends, I just stop talking to them when they do that, with my sister, I can't exactly dump her, so I started telling her that her boyfriend/galfriend/bleh is a piece of shit and that she needs to rid that from her life, or she needs to shut the hell up and never bring up this person again in my presence. This is not working. I feel bad for manipulating her thoughts. I just need to remove myself from her for a bit. I really don't have the energy to do this anymore.
It's shallow of me, but I do prefer to complain about how my ugly yellow bruise still throbs like a mother fucker. Or how I told a guy he can't talk to me because I chugging a Guinness while he was drinking WATER...at a freaking death metal concert (MOD in case you're familiar with metal). Seriously this happened:
Dude with water: Aw...you're just giving me shit because you know you're hot and you think I want to fuck you.
Me: No, I'm really not giving you my name because you're drinking water at an awesome metal concert while I'm drinking Guinness. We obviously have nothing in common to talk about.
Dude with water: Well, I'm just drinking this because I'm hungover from touring with this band. I was drummer for the previous band.
Me: Ooooh, the band with the awesome chick metal singer. She was great!
Us: *random chit chat about that band*
Dude with water: I'm sorry, but I forgot your name already.
Me: Actually you didn't forget. I didn't tell you my name because you're holding that water, and I still won't tell you because I'm drinking Guinness.
Dude with water: Awww, you're still giving me the attitude because you think I want to fuck you, which I do, but really...
Me: Does this actually work for you, ever? You have zero game! *finish beer, walk off*

Awww, some days, no...most days, it feels better to be a bit shallow. I miss rock climbing, haven't done that in a couple months.