In Need of a Crayon
My dad called me up at 8 this morning. I was already up and reading, but you know what…it’s still freaking 8am. He needed some info for his divorce attorney…and I had previously asked to speak to her regarding the letter I needed to write for him. Why’s that? Well…apparently I had been sleeping during the section in Freshman Writing 101 on “How to plead with the court to not sentence your father to jail for forever.” So, I just needed some formatting guidelines. Two inches on each edge maybe? No flowery borders? Should I print it on vellum or lacy pink stationery?
So the attorney gets on the phone and for some odd reason she decides she has to butter me up.
Attorney lady: Hi, Champagne, nice talking to you. Your dad told me lots of nice things about you. You know you’re his favorite daughter.
Me: Aw, that’s great, but there are only two of us, so I had a fifty-fifty chance in being the favorite.
Attorney lady: Sorry, what was that?
Me: Oh nothing, so about the letter…
It’s 8am, I’m allowed to amuse myself a bit. I thought it was funny that she would tell me I’m his “favorite”…who the hell does that? I assumed that it’s common knowledge that you’re not supposed to play favorites out in the open?
I moved onto asking how I should address the letter and what the court is expecting. She told me to just stick with telling the court about how he’s been a good father to me…oh and it should be handwritten, so it looks more personal.
This reminds me of those new road signs on some highways, with something like, “Drive carefully, my daddy works here” in a font that looks like a five-years old wrote that sign…it kinda works by tugging at your heart a bit. So I’m thinking I need to pick up a tablet of that nappy fibery newsprint that kids write on in kindergarten…you know, the kind of paper that a simple pink eraser could tear a hole into with two rubs? I’ll get some of that, and compose the letter with a fat red crayon.
*sigh* I know this has the potential to get messy…it probably will not only be a letter. I’ve already come to terms with that. I’ve figured out this much, if you’re going to do something for someone out of love, be prepared for the bumpy ride…because if you’re going to resent them at the end of it, you might as well as not have bothered at all.
And we end with, Seattle tonight.-->
So the attorney gets on the phone and for some odd reason she decides she has to butter me up.
Attorney lady: Hi, Champagne, nice talking to you. Your dad told me lots of nice things about you. You know you’re his favorite daughter.
Me: Aw, that’s great, but there are only two of us, so I had a fifty-fifty chance in being the favorite.
Attorney lady: Sorry, what was that?
Me: Oh nothing, so about the letter…
It’s 8am, I’m allowed to amuse myself a bit. I thought it was funny that she would tell me I’m his “favorite”…who the hell does that? I assumed that it’s common knowledge that you’re not supposed to play favorites out in the open?
I moved onto asking how I should address the letter and what the court is expecting. She told me to just stick with telling the court about how he’s been a good father to me…oh and it should be handwritten, so it looks more personal.
This reminds me of those new road signs on some highways, with something like, “Drive carefully, my daddy works here” in a font that looks like a five-years old wrote that sign…it kinda works by tugging at your heart a bit. So I’m thinking I need to pick up a tablet of that nappy fibery newsprint that kids write on in kindergarten…you know, the kind of paper that a simple pink eraser could tear a hole into with two rubs? I’ll get some of that, and compose the letter with a fat red crayon.
*sigh* I know this has the potential to get messy…it probably will not only be a letter. I’ve already come to terms with that. I’ve figured out this much, if you’re going to do something for someone out of love, be prepared for the bumpy ride…because if you’re going to resent them at the end of it, you might as well as not have bothered at all.
And we end with, Seattle tonight.-->
posted by SteakGirl at 11:38 PM
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