Fancy Top Ramen

I went out for dinner with my sister tonight because she has been dying to take me to this place in Columbia Tower for dinner. We sat in the bar, Stratus Lounge, which is on the 75th floor of the building. You can see in the picture on the far right corner, the Space Needle is but a tiny speck far below. It’s a beautiful place; the view of the city is lovely.

The one problem I’ve found from going to nice bars in these fancy five-star restaurants is that the two of us, somehow scream, “Please, all you dirty old men, hit on us.” We were sitting at the bar with her friend’s business associate (let’s call him old white guy) sitting next to the me. At first the guy was being congenial, then this guy (old Asian guy) sat down next to my sister and the white guy introduces the Asian guy to us as, “The nicest guy I know of with AIDS.” It was meant to be a silly over-the-top joke, which I got, but it’s kind of a fucked up thing to say, even if the guy was obviously drunk. Another drink later, the same guy asked us, “If the two of you were to fight over me, who would win?” My sister is trying to be polite with, “Oh we never fight.” Me, “Over you? We wouldn’t bother fighting, we would both walk away.” He wasn’t happy with the answer, “No, really, humor me. I said IF.” I replied, “No, really. There is no ‘if’. You set yourself up with that question. There’s simply no way we would fight over you.” My sister is laughing, “Yeah, we would walk off together to go get a drink.”

Since my best friend sings for a death metal band, I end up in some really dingy dive bars, but the rudest people I’ve found are often in the nicer places. The last time we were given similarly nasty bad lines was at the bar of Waterfront Grill, where my sister and I used to hang out at all the time. These two middle aged white guys (one very very fat, the other on skinny side made more skinny by sitting next to his friend) sat in the table next to us. They made polite conversation with us and invited us to join them, which we declined. They ordered a few $200+ per bottle wine and asked the server to bring us two glasses, which we tried to decline but they insisted.

Fat guy: Are you ladies alone?
Me: We’re each other’s hot date.
Fat guy: My friend here is single.
Us: No, really, we’re happy with each other’s company.
Fat guy: Don’t tell me. Your boyfriends’ name is Bob.
Us: Huh?
Fat guy: You know, Battery-Operated-Boyfriend.
Me: Sir, I think you’ve just stepped over the line of polite conversation, let’s not go there.
Fat guy: What's the big deal, it's just a simple question.
Me: Sir, that is not a subject to be discussed, I find it distasteful.

My sister pretends she doesn’t know what he’s saying, while the skinny guy looks a bit embarrassed by his friend. Fat guy doesn’t want to stop despite the fact that I was still smiling and trying to let him off easy.

Fat guy: Well, if you don’t answer, I already know what you answer is.
Me: That’s fine, but you are being inappropriate and this conversation is over.


After over two months of not hanging out with my sister for more than an hour, I went out with her on Sunday night. I love hanging out with my sister once in a while, but I do have to brace myself for certain things when I hang out with her. Like, we decided to have dinner at this steakhouse called The Metropolitan Grill…and she wanted to drive…even though the place is TWO blocks from her place, and valet costs 7 bucks. While relative to the cost of a meal at The Met, 7 is nothing, but two blocks...getting in a car and driving for two blocks…my brain is still hemorrhaging from thinking about it.

She heard about my vacation time and immediately decided we should go to Cancun or Vegas together. I can’t tell which of two places I would like to go to least. She mentioned I should go to this party with her on Saturday, I told her I was going backpacking this weekend. One thing she asked me during our really delicious meal is, what do I eat during the camping trip? I told her…um…a fancy version of top ramen, eaten right out of the foil baggy thing with my spork, it screams class. She looked horrified and asked, "What the hell is wrong with you!?" I laughed and explained, two years ago, I would have said the same, somehow at this moment, it makes sense.

In then end, I didn’t drink much and had to leave early to pack for my backpacking trip tomorrow (we’re leaving after everyone gets off work). I guess I’m getting old and boring…but if I’m having fun being “old and boring”, that’s all that matters.

Edit: I was just looking up how tall the Columbia Tower is, it's listed as 967 feet, which means, if you hiked up Mount Si, you've hiked up the height of that tower three times and then some.