Oh Brain Cells, Where Have You Gone?

Friends don’t let friends snark while drunk. I woke up this morning and found this email that I composed last night while drunk off my ass and felt extremely grateful I had the good senses not to have hit the “Send” button before stumbling to bed. Apparently when I got home I checked my email and found one from a buddy of mine, and in my usual style of flowery compliments I wrote a snarky reply thinking I am a dear sweet genius. Reading the email this morning reminds me that drunk people just aren’t that funny. In fact, this drunk person was just flat out stupid.
I think I’m going to blame the bar I was hanging out at last night for my stupidity, aside from helping me kill much of my brain cells, I also had some of the worst pick-up lines used on me. The one that made me wince in pain on the guy’s behalf had to be this black dude stopping me as I was walking by, “Can I call you Justin? Because you’re bringing sexy back.” Dear sweet baby Jesus…my IQ went down by ten points just from hearing that.
Oh, before we hit that bar, we were at the very swanky Waterfront Grill bar. My sister's married friends were crazy drunk. The husband was loud, in my personal space and kept shouting that his wife's parents are still having sex THREE TIMES A WEEK - because obviously the world is a better place for having that knowledge.