More Dangerous Than Crack

So I finally made my way down to my drug dealer and picked up the last items I needed for a backpacking trip. Amongst the items was a giant backpack and water filter. I didn't know this, but REI has all these little sacks of weight sitting around so you can stuff your backpack to your hearts content to see if you like it. It’s fun and fucking heavy. The expected 30-35 lbs most people carry is a pain, don’t let those crazy die-hard backpackers lie to you and tell you how “it’s really not that bad” they just want you to suffer with them--misery loves company thing.

I piled everything into my pack when I got home and without the dried food+water it’s all pretty manageable. I checked out my new water filter and found that I have yet another item out to kill me. The warning label is for drops that you treat the filtered water with…meaning I PUT this in my water…shouldn’t that read, “Don’t buy this.”

Now that I’ve got pretty much all of my gear, I’m super excited for my first backpacking trip. As much as I piss and moan about the weight and gear online, I’m actually quite a chipper person on the trail. A big part of it has to do with the fact that I really enjoy being outdoor. The fact that I’m usually too tired to bitch helps my buddies quite a bit too.

Hiking has been a weird addictive drug for me. I started hiking last November with my buddy Daniel, we hiked Mount Si and I was hooked. The hike was really tough for a newbie, but at the end of the day, I sat on my couch not wanting to move, dead exhausted, but thinking extremely clearly and everything made sense. This is like taking your first hit of ecstasy (um, I heard this from a friend of a friend...of course). It’s such an amazing feeling you want to bottle it forever. Of course that feeling is pretty impossible to capture again. Still, I’ve enjoyed hiking very much since then. The problem with all drugs is that you eventually build a tolerance. To regain that feeling, you have to up the ante. Si kicked my ass so hard back in November. Yesterday, it really was a long stroll in the park. Lucky for me, there are craploads of trails within driving distance from Seattle that I can still explore. Backpacking should add a whole new dimension to hiking too.

Unfortunately, hiking doesn’t quite make everything make sense still. I still have a lot of questions about life and what to do next. I found out recently that my boss is getting a divorce…I’m guessing he’s in his mid-fifties. He’s one of those bosses that get people to work their asses off by being down in the trenches with them, which was what ultimately killed his marriage. He was always at work; it makes you feel guilty if you’re not working. He has three kids and a wife at home. It still makes me really sad to think he’s now alone… In his mind, he works hard so that he could give his family a comfortable life. Yet what good is this comfortable life they have if it’s without him? He feels such a duty to the people that pay him well...yet what about the people that he swore to love? My heart breaks for him. He’s just a sweet guy that works his ass off. People do this all the time. They think it’s enough that they work hard for the people that pay them, but neglect everything and everyone else…including themselves. What is it all worth?

Perhaps I shall contemplate this a little while I work on my tan in California tomorrow.