Yes, Master.

I ordered a new computer from Dell recently and have been eagerly waiting its arrival. It didn't get delivered till late last night, so the system was waiting in the house's main living room while I was showering and getting ready to go out. As I was leaving, I figured I should move the boxes into my living room. I took one look at the box that housed the brain of the computer and thought "Oh, fuck no!" The box was over 70lbs and could probably provide adequate shelter for a small family. What the hell kind of computer weighs over 70lbs!? I looked at the box again to make sure they didn't decide to send me some 25 inch CRT monitor because that is the only possibility in my mind as to how a computer could weigh this much. Mind you, this is ONLY the computer part...not monitor because the monitor box is about 1/4 of that size and weight, due to the fact that its a simple 20-inch flat screen. I looked at the box some more and decided I'll deal with it in the morning because I was just damned scared of the box. I've NEVER had a computer scare me like that.

I finally cracked the box open this morning and peeked inside the box to make sure there wasn't a giant monster waiting inside, getting ready to pounce out and consume my family. You see that picture with all the different Dell machines up top? You see that slightly bigger machine? Well, the picture is fucking misleading because you just see it from the front - from the side, the machine is a god damned beast. I've moved around plenty of computers in my life...the only thing I've ever grunted from lifting were the old 21 inch CRT monitors. The computer tower? Meh, I can lift the thing with one hand if need be. I was grunting and heaving trying to get the giant metal box up to my living room.

When I first booted up the machine it sounded like an airplane trying for take-off but then it quickly winded down to a pleasant hum. At this point, I'm thinking this machine is plotting to take over the world on its own and make me its bitch. It's that scary of a machine.

I'm currently reformatting my old computer and installing World of Warcraft on it, so I can give it to my 11 years-old brother so we can WoW together. It's just a part of what I do to make sure he gets beaten up and stuffed into lockers.