Still More Inappropriate Jokes
Okay, it turns out please-come-help-me-teach-my-cock-sucking-class dude is gay. I thought he was gay…but he was making my skin crawl the way he was looking at me and my sister. Oh, did I mention I attract creepy gay guys too? Come to think about it, every creepy gay men I’ve met are through my sister, she’s a creepy gay magnet. What makes a gay guy creepy? Well…they’re the guys who thinks just because they are gay, they are entitled to fondling women. Yeah, her creepy gay friends seem to think it’s okay to come up and grab my breasts. While I understand it doesn’t do anything for them, it’s still my body and it’s still not cool.
Onto less creepy topic…so about 5 coworkers and myself went up for night skiing last night. One guy, Sto, left about two hours earlier than the rest of us because his team just finished their project. I carpooled with my buddy Daniel and Jason. When we got up there we met up with our buddy Fraser and headed off to the lift. As we waited for the lift, Fraser got a call from Sto’s wife…we can hear Fraser trying to calm her down and telling her we’ll give him a ride back. Fraser gets off the phone and said, “That’s was Sto’s wife, apparently he just got kicked out because he got caught getting a blowjob in the bathroom and his wife is pissed and wanting to come get him.” We all screamed, “What!?” After a long pause, Fraser laughed, “Haha, just kidding, he broke his arm.” Somehow, we all felt better about our friend breaking his arm and simultaneously said, “Oh.”
We were already halfway up the mountain so we rode over to the lodge to check on our buddy. We got there and saw Sto looking decently chipper. I looked at him and said, “Oh, dude, I’m so sorry… What the hell is that ghetto ass cast you have on?” He has the most make-shifty sling on, his arm was in a brace made out of cardboard box that looks like Costco soda pop tray quality, and the brace was tied to his neck with something that looks like cheese cloth AND they padded the box with a piece of old shag carpet. Apparently that’s what they do for people breaking themselves, they barely bandage you up, don’t give you any painkillers and send you off to find your own way to the hospital. After checking to see that his arm isn’t in danger of falling off, I mentioned, “I call dibs on being the first to draw a penis on your cast.”
Edit: You know...now that I think about it, the nice-rack guy could possibly be gay too, which could explain why he felt like he was entitled to staring at my chests and talking about them for a good five minutes. So, all you straight men out there, if you want to cop a free feel here and there, just tell the women you're gay, because apparently that excuses all polite societal behavior. Also, Sto is doing great, we shuttled his car and stuff back...got him to the hospital where the doctors didn't find anything broken they think he must have dislocated something that popped back or torn a ligament due to the insane amount of swelling he had in his arm.
Onto less creepy topic…so about 5 coworkers and myself went up for night skiing last night. One guy, Sto, left about two hours earlier than the rest of us because his team just finished their project. I carpooled with my buddy Daniel and Jason. When we got up there we met up with our buddy Fraser and headed off to the lift. As we waited for the lift, Fraser got a call from Sto’s wife…we can hear Fraser trying to calm her down and telling her we’ll give him a ride back. Fraser gets off the phone and said, “That’s was Sto’s wife, apparently he just got kicked out because he got caught getting a blowjob in the bathroom and his wife is pissed and wanting to come get him.” We all screamed, “What!?” After a long pause, Fraser laughed, “Haha, just kidding, he broke his arm.” Somehow, we all felt better about our friend breaking his arm and simultaneously said, “Oh.”
We were already halfway up the mountain so we rode over to the lodge to check on our buddy. We got there and saw Sto looking decently chipper. I looked at him and said, “Oh, dude, I’m so sorry… What the hell is that ghetto ass cast you have on?” He has the most make-shifty sling on, his arm was in a brace made out of cardboard box that looks like Costco soda pop tray quality, and the brace was tied to his neck with something that looks like cheese cloth AND they padded the box with a piece of old shag carpet. Apparently that’s what they do for people breaking themselves, they barely bandage you up, don’t give you any painkillers and send you off to find your own way to the hospital. After checking to see that his arm isn’t in danger of falling off, I mentioned, “I call dibs on being the first to draw a penis on your cast.”
Edit: You know...now that I think about it, the nice-rack guy could possibly be gay too, which could explain why he felt like he was entitled to staring at my chests and talking about them for a good five minutes. So, all you straight men out there, if you want to cop a free feel here and there, just tell the women you're gay, because apparently that excuses all polite societal behavior. Also, Sto is doing great, we shuttled his car and stuff back...got him to the hospital where the doctors didn't find anything broken they think he must have dislocated something that popped back or torn a ligament due to the insane amount of swelling he had in his arm.
posted by SteakGirl at 9:03 AM
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